HENRY Healthy Families Growing Up

ARE YOU STRUGGLING TO SLEEP AT NIGHT?

Spending long days in the house away from natural light, for example, can impact your daytime wakefulness and make your brain sleepy.  Then bright lights at night - especially from the TV or computer screens/tablet screens/phones etc can suppress your body's production of melatonin and make it harder to sleep.  However, there are ways for you to naturally regulate your sleep-wake cycle, boost your body's production of melatonin, and keep your brain on a healthy schedule.

INCREASE LIGHT EXPOSURE DURING THE DAY

 - Spend more time outside during daylight

 - Keep curtains and blinds open during the day

BOOST MELATONIN PRODUCTION AT NIGHT

Turn off your television and computer.  Many people use the television to fall asleep or relax at the end of the day. Not only does the light suppress melatonin production, but television can actually stimulate the mind, rather than relaxing it.  Try listening to music or audio books instead, or practising relaxation exercises.  If your favourite TV show is on late at night, record it for viewing earlier in the day

Change your bright light bulbs.  Avoid bright lights before bed, use low wattage bulbs instead.

When it's time to sleep, make sure the room is dark.  The darker it is, the better you will sleep.  Cover electrical displays, use heavy curtains or shades to block light from windows.

KEEP A REGULAR SLEEP SCHEDULE

Set a regular bedtime.  Go to bed at the same time every night if possible.  Choose a time when you normally feel tired, so that you do not toss and turn.  Try not to break this routine on weekends when it may be tempting to stay up late.

Wake up at the same time every day.  If you are getting enough sleep, you should wake up naturally without an alarm.  If you need an alarm clock to wake up on time, you may need to set an earlier bedtime.  As with your bedtime, try to maintain your regular wake time even on weekends.

Be careful about napping.  While taking a nap can be a great way to recharge, it can make insomnia worse.  If insomnia is a problem for you, consider eliminating napping.  If you must nap, do it in the early afternoon, and limit it to thirty minutes.

Fight drowsiness.  If you find yourself getting sleepy way before your bedtime, get off the couch and do something mildly stimulating to avoid falling asleep, such as washing the dishes, calling a friend, or getting clothes ready for the next day.  if you give in to the drowsiness, you may wake up later in the night and have trouble getting back to sleep.

CREATE A RELAXING BEDTIME ROUTINE FOR YOURSELF

If you make a consistent effort to relax and unwind before bed, you will sleep easier and more deeply.  A peaceful bedtime routine sends a powerful signal to your brain that it is time to wind down and let go of the day's stresses.

Make your bedroom more sleep friendly.

Keep the noise down.  If you cannot avoid or eliminate noise from barking dogs, loud neighbours, city traffic, or other people in your household, try masking it with soothing music.

Keep your room cool.  The temperature of your bedroom also affects sleep.  Most people sleep best in a slightly cool room with adequate ventilation.  A bedroom that is too hot or too cold can interfere with quality sleep.

Make sure your bed is comfortable.  You should have enough room to stretch and turn comfortably.  If you often wake up with a sore back or an aching neck, you may need to invest in a new mattress or try a different pillow.  Experiment with different levels of mattress firmness, mattress toppers, and pillows that provide more or less support.

EAT RIGHT AND GET REGULAR EXERCISE

Your daytime eating and exercise habits play a role in how well you sleep.  It is particularly important to what you put in your body in the hours leading up to your bedtime.

Stay away from big meals at night.  Try to make teatime earlier in the evening, and avoid heavy, rich foods within two hours of bed.  Fatty foods take a lot of work for your stomach to digest and may keep you up.  Also be cautious when it comes to spicy or acidic foods in the evening, as they can cause stomach trouble and heartburn.

Avoid alcohol before bed.  Many people think that a nightcap before bed will help them sleep, but while it may make you fall asleep faster, alcohol reduces your sleep quality, waking you up later in the night.  To avoid this effect, stay away from alcohol in the hours before bed.

Cut down on Caffeine.  You might be surprised to know that caffeine can cause sleep problems up to ten to twelve hours after drinking it!  Consider eliminating caffeine after dinner or cutting back your overall intake.

Avoid drinking too many liquids in the evening.  Drinking lots of water, juice, tea, or other fluids may result in frequent bathroom trips throughout the night.  Caffeinated drinks, which act as diuretics, only make things worse.

Quit smoking.  Smoking causes sleep trouble in a number of ways.  Nicotine is a stimulant, which disrupts sleep, plus smokers experience nicotine withdrawal as the night progresses, making it hard to sleep.

Exercise regularly.  You will also sleep more deeply if you exercise regularly.  You do not have to be a star athlete to reap the benefits - as little as 20 to 30 minutes of daily activity helps.  And you do not need to do all 30 minutes in one session.  You can break it up into five minutes here, 10 minutes there, and still get the benefits.  Try a brisk walk, a bicycle ride, or even gardening or housework.  

RELAXTION TECHNIQUES FOR BETTER SLEEP

Relaxation is beneficial for everyone, but especially for those struggling with sleep.  Practicing relaxation techniques before bed is a great way to wind down, calm the mind, and prepare for sleep.  Some simple relaxation techniques include:-

Deep breathing.  Close your eyes, and try taking deep, slow breaths, making each breath even deeper than the last.

Progressive muscle relaxation.  Starting with your toes, tense all the muscles as tightly as you can, then completely relax.  Work your way up (feet, calves, thighs etc) from your feet to the top of your head.

Visualizing a peaceful, restful place.  Close your eyes and imagine a place or activity that is calming and peaceful for you.  Concentrate on how relaxed this place or activity makes you feel.

Its normal to wake briefly during the night.  in fact, a good sleeper won't even remember it.  But if you are waking up during the night and having trouble falling back asleep, the following tips may help.

Stay out of your head.  The key to getting back to sleep is continuing to cue your body for sleep, so remain in bed in a relaxed position.  Hard as it may be, try not to stress over the fact that you are awake or you cannot fell asleep again, because that very stress and anxiety encourages your body to stay awake.  A good way to stay out of your head is to focus on the feelings and sensations in your body, or follow the rhythm of your breathing.

Make relaxation your goal, not sleep.  If you find it hard to fall back asleep, try a relaxation technique such as visualization, deep breathing, or meditation, which can be done without even getting out of bed.  Remind yourself that although they are not a replacement for sleep, rest and relaxation still help rejuvenate your body.  

HELP AND ADVICE - USEFUL LINKS

Heads Together

Anna Freud

Leeds City Council Children & Families Service

Mindmate Spa

Leeds Domestic Violence Service

Live Well Leeds

Leeds Community Healthcare

Children and Young People's Mental Health Services (CYPMHS)

Health for All

Bereavement Support for Children and Young People

Employment Support - Getting Back Into Work

Debt and Budgeting Advice

Leeds Money Information Centre

East Leeds Foodbanks

Help with Food and Bills

Reporting Anti Social Behaviour

East Leeds Youth Service

Leeds Young Carers Support Service

Breeze Leeds

Bring out the best in you - building confidence   

Understanding and Dealing with Tantrums

Setting Boundaries for Toddlers and Pre School Children

School Anxiety and Refusal

Money Buddies 

Whether you’re having difficulty paying any debt, need legal debt advice or if you are not sure of what to do about your finances, we can help you. Money Buddies offer many services including FREE debt advice in Leeds.

Timetable in Leeds

Face to Face in person sessions are at the following centres. Please note Covid safety protocols may apply, please wear a protective face mask where possible.

Sessions will be closed on all Bank Holidays and some sessions may be closed at short notice.

The Timetable is subject to change. For details please call 0113 2350276

MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

*please note St George’s Centre is open every two weeks, please call 0113 2350276 for details

THURSDAY

*please note Opal and St Pauls are open in rotation on a weekly basis, please call 0113 2350276 to see on which Thursday the Centre is open.

FRIDAY

*please note Manorfield Community Hub is open every two weeks, please call 0113 2350276 for details

Timetable is subject to change. Please call 0113 2350276 for information

10 ways to help get your child to school on time 

The morning school run doesn't always have to be a mad dash. Follow these tips for getting your child through the school gates on time, fed, clean and with all the right kit. 

Lay out school clothes the night before. Set out your child's clothes next to their bed, including pants and socks. You'll have an early warning that stocks of clean underwear are running low if you organise clothes in the evening. 

• Keep shoes in one place. Avoid tearing round the house, turning out wardrobes, peering under beds and behind sofas in search of your child's shoes. Find a spot where shoes always live, perhaps next to the front door. Get your child into the habit of putting their shoes there every time they take them off. If you do only one thing to prepare ahead, make it this. 
• Get your child to bed on time. This may be easier said than done, but you'll be glad in the morning that your child was bathed and tucked up in good time. If your child is in bed at a sensible hour, they should wake up the next morning cheerful and sprightly. They may even do remarkable things, such as cleaning their teeth without being told. If your child goes to bed late, they're likely to wake up groggy and is more likely to drop their toothbrush down the toilet than brush their teeth with it. 
• Prepare the night before. You'll breeze through the morning routine if you think ahead. When your child or children are asleep, make lunches, put homework in backpacks, and check there's enough milk for the morning. Search through your child's school bag for permission slips and school newsletters too. And don't forget about yourself: choose your outfit for the next day, and if you work, prepare your bag. If you drive your child to school, top up the car with petrol in the afternoon or evening. Trying to fit a garage stop into the school run is bound to make you tight for time, and this will stress you and your child. 
• Invest in an alarm clock. When your child starts school, let them pick out their own alarm clock. They'll probably choose the biggest, brightest, tackiest clock you've ever seen. But, hopefully, they may feel a sense of duty to get up when it goes off in the morning. 
• Encourage your child to get themselves ready. Help your child to get as far as they can with dressing themselves and brushing their hair. Not only will they feel a sense of accomplishment, it'll save you valuable time – once they get the hang of it, anyway! 
• Keep breakfast simple. Don't feel guilty if breakfast isn't an elaborate affair. A breakfast of healthy cereal, a yoghurt and a piece of fruit will do. Make it easy for your child to have fruit by slicing a banana or chopping strawberries into their cereal. Instant porridge is easy and gives a great start to a winter's day. 
• Take breaks. Give the weekday routine a rest at weekends. 
• Make time for cuddles. On rushed mornings, it's easy to skip the hugs and kisses. 
• Make school mornings a positive experience – happy, calm, organised!! 

Raising kids is one of the toughest and most fulfilling jobs in the world — and the one for which you might feel the least prepared

1. Boosting Your Child's Self-Esteem

Kids start developing their sense of self as babies when they see themselves through their parents' eyes. Your tone of voice, your body language, and your every expression are absorbed by your kids. Your words and actions as a parent affect their developing self-esteem more than anything else.

Praising accomplishments, however small, will make them feel proud; letting kids do things independently will make them feel capable and strong. By contrast, belittling comments or comparing a child unfavorably with another will make kids feel worthless.

Avoid making loaded statements or using words as weapons. Comments like "What a stupid thing to do!" or "You act more like a baby than your little brother!" cause damage just as physical blows do.

Choose your words carefully and be compassionate. Let your kids know that everyone makes mistakes and that you still love them, even when you don't love their behavior.

2. Catch Kids Being Good

Have you ever stopped to think about how many times you react negatively to your kids in a given day? You may find yourself criticizing far more often than complimenting. How would you feel about a boss who treated you with that much negative guidance, even if it was well intentioned?

The more effective approach is to catch kids doing something right: "You made your bed without being asked — that's terrific!" or "I was watching you play with your sister and you were very patient." These statements will do more to encourage good behavior over the long run than repeated scoldings.

Make a point of finding something to praise every day. Be generous with rewards — your love, hugs, and compliments can work wonders and are often reward enough. Soon you will find you are "growing" more of the behavior you would like to see.

3. Set Limits and Be Consistent With Your Discipline

Discipline is necessary in every household. The goal of discipline is to help kids choose acceptable behaviors and learn self-control. They may test the limits you establish for them, but they need those limits to grow into responsible adults.

Establishing house rules helps kids understand your expectations and develop self-control. Some rules might include: no TV until homework is done, and no hitting, name-calling, or hurtful teasing allowed.

You might want to have a system in place: one warning, followed by consequences such as a "time out" or loss of privileges. A common mistake parents make is failure to follow through with the consequences. You can't discipline kids for talking back one day and ignore it the next. Being consistent teaches what you expect.

4. Make Time for Your Kids

It's often difficult for parents and kids to get together for a family meal, let alone spend quality time together. But there is probably nothing kids would like more. Get up 10 minutes earlier in the morning so you can eat breakfast with your child or leave the dishes in the sink and take a walk after dinner. Kids who aren't getting the attention they want from their parents often act out or misbehave because they're sure to be noticed that way.

Many parents find it rewarding to schedule together time with their kids. Create a "special night" each week to be together and let your kids help decide how to spend the time. Look for other ways to connect — put a note or something special in your kid's lunchbox.

Adolescents seem to need less undivided attention from their parents than younger kids. Because there are fewer windows of opportunity for parents and teens to get together, parents should do their best to be available when their teen does express a desire to talk or participate in family activities. Attending concerts, games, and other events with your teen communicates caring and lets you get to know more about your child and his or her friends in important ways.

Don't feel guilty if you're a working parent. It is the many little things you do — making popcorn, playing cards, window shopping — that kids will remember.

5. Be a Good Role Model

Young kids learn a lot about how to act by watching their parents. The younger they are, the more cues they take from you. Before you lash out or blow your top in front of your child, think about this: Is that how you want your child to behave when angry? Be aware that you're constantly being watched by your kids. Studies have shown that children who hit usually have a role model for aggression at home.

Model the traits you wish to see in your kids: respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, tolerance. Exhibit unselfish behavior. Do things for other people without expecting a reward. Express thanks and offer compliments. Above all, treat your kids the way you expect other people to treat you.

6. Make Communication a Priority

You can't expect kids to do everything simply because you, as a parent, "say so." They want and deserve explanations as much as adults do. If we don't take time to explain, kids will begin to wonder about our values and motives and whether they have any basis. Parents who reason with their kids allow them to understand and learn in a nonjudgmental way.

Make your expectations clear. If there is a problem, describe it, express your feelings, and invite your child to work on a solution with you. Be sure to include consequences. Make suggestions and offer choices. Be open to your child's suggestions as well. Negotiate. Kids who participate in decisions are more motivated to carry them out.

7. Be Flexible and Willing to Adjust Your Parenting Style

If you often feel "let down" by your child's behavior, perhaps you have unrealistic expectations. Parents who think in "shoulds" (for example, "My kid should be potty-trained by now") might find it helpful to read up on the matter or to talk to other parents or child development specialists.

Kids' environments have an effect on their behavior, so you might be able to change that behavior by changing the environment. If you find yourself constantly saying "no" to your 2-year-old, look for ways to alter your surroundings so that fewer things are off-limits. This will cause less frustration for both of you.

As your child changes, you'll gradually have to change your parenting style. Chances are, what works with your child now won't work as well in a year or two.

Teens tend to look less to their parents and more to their peers for role models. But continue to provide guidance, encouragement, and appropriate discipline while allowing your teen to earn more independence. And seize every available moment to make a connection!

8. Show That Your Love Is Unconditional

As a parent, you're responsible for correcting and guiding your kids. But how you express your corrective guidance makes all the difference in how a child receives it.

When you have to confront your child, avoid blaming, criticizing, or fault-finding, which undermine self-esteem and can lead to resentment. Instead, strive to nurture and encourage, even when disciplining your kids. Make sure they know that although you want and expect better next time, your love is there no matter what.

9. Know Your Own Needs and Limitations as a Parent

Face it — you are an imperfect parent. You have strengths and weaknesses as a family leader. Recognize your abilities — "I am loving and dedicated." Vow to work on your weaknesses — "I need to be more consistent with discipline." Try to have realistic expectations for yourself, your spouse, and your kids. You don't have to have all the answers — be forgiving of yourself.

And try to make parenting a manageable job. Focus on the areas that need the most attention rather than trying to address everything all at once. Admit it when you're burned out. Take time out from parenting to do things that will make you happy as a person (or as a couple).

Focusing on your needs does not make you selfish. It simply means you care about your own well-being, which is another important value to model for your children.